...she HATES me.

how can you manage not to talk with the person you always talk
with and laugh with?
after this little tragedy of mine, here comes another:

..Cj's mom got mad on me..on both of us.


...it happened fast, without warning..
i can't point who's fault it is. Yes i admit
it's half mine(do i have to measure this?)..
all I know was when I left my family, the first person I
wanted to see was Cj.

do you thinnk i am selfish to ask him to stay with me the
whole 24 hours crying whenever i'm awake and left tears marked
on his clothes everywhere?
i have nowhere to go. His mom didn't know I left our home, he said
there's no need so i didn't give much care either.
I asked him if he could stay with me cause i'm still pretty scared
and i want his hug..love..kiss..
somehow these helps me from those pains.

this is the reason.
the rules are broken - old fashion way rules.
he should never do such things like sleeping on other house
unless it's a family house.
Cj had a bad record on his gimmiks and his drinking habits which
by the way CHANGED when we start this relationship..
..the thing is they don't trust him.
i can understand that they care for our safety
di ba uso ang early pregnancy so who knows diba?
its's ok i do know that.
atleast a chance and forgiveness.

till this very moment i'm typing this, nothing's changed:

- i can't go to their carenderia anymore.
- can't go in their home.
- can't talk with her pati ata si papa niya ganun nadin
- can't let cj go in naga even if he insists he must be at home
within the day.

if any of these were not t, 1 count of bad image and bad thoughts
about me for sure, the next thing wil be arguments between cj and his mom.

I hate that SHE HATES me.

i miss her..

i understand her..

..so i'll just get my self in distance if it's the good thing to do.
time will heal it..we need to do our responsibility first. STUDY.
i am doing it, it's on the masters list. about my mama - she understands.
she knows every little detail we got.

someday we'll talk and the HATE will go away.