Wiser..

i hope somehow things for us are wiser than any
hardships we handled from now on.

Love always hurts as much as happiness can
give, it's a never ending battle for its strong
foundation for the future, its the long lasting
comitment you give to each other always, the pain
you consume to be better for each other, it's not
always concise what is your future - waiting is
the most powerful thing you could do to survive in
what you believe you all got..these are just some I
know I bet there are other explanation people can
get depending on how they explain love.

So now we got this another chance I do hope we
are much wiser now than before. Things are gradually
changing and I hope let's also change for something
better for both of us. We always love each other.
--- REUNITED ---

2 goodbyes?

1st goodbye~
there's always a goodbye in everything that comes.
A start and end. Funny how this thing always stick
together...well if I could build my own world, I'd like
to have no END. The feeling of letting go in something
you've always want is very unexplainable feeling..
sorta slow-pain sometimes..

9:00 sharp am their bus is going to depart.
I think i've got everything they need to
get.."pasalubongs" hope it's enough for a simple
reminder of what Bicolandia is!

we had FUN! HAPPINESS..moments worth
remembering of everytime we feel down or miss
each other.,although its a 7days adventure it's very
memorable. I think i Learned alot! it's those simple
things I know only for myself that those 2 can't
see heheh! well i really try hard to be NICEEEE to xy!! *smile
From now on, we'll count days, months oh
let's not hope years when the 3 of us will see each
other soon. This will mark everything on us from now on.

2nd Goodbye~
ha! you thought those two will say goodbye
now huh?!..actually this is the 1st one who said goodbye
to me..argggg!! i hate GOODBYES! it'll make me sick
sometimes..damn this is no fun at all..*blank
yesterday we decided to take a break..it seemed

]not the end ofcourse but still it relates in goodbye- what
the heck is so good in goodbyes! yeah i did cried ofcourse
it's what i do best! hahaha! right now I still don't know
what to do with it...unthinkable, blank..all i know it
supeeeeer hurts*correct my grammar* and i just need to be
STRONG - it's what they always say, and i need to do.
Imagine I can't stop to touch my phone just to look
if he texted and changed his mind..he told me it will take a
long time for him to feel ok, and if things are on it's
place I guess we'll be ba ck again to what we are and much
better. I just hope I could carry this thing on from now
on..i'm loosing the strenght to take it everything.
I MISS YOU and I Love you too.

..the Break

late..
this 4 letter word come up with his decision
to break up for a while.
to learn from this simple thing to take it
seriously and don't make fun of it.

i'm in SERIOUS PAIN!
more than needles or hammered head can compare
my tears wont stop flowing.
my heart beats so fast i couldn't breathe!
my eyes are swolen and it's gettin worser.

i can't say it's not my fault
i know what's my mistakes with this.
-ADJUSTMENT- is the word..
i think i can't carry this decision for long.
no matter what it takes, i will find a way
to fix this..
my heart needs him more than anything now.
he make myself complete now..
i can understand his pain also and
i know time will make it possible for us
to be together again.

i'm praYING. i love you and he loves me too
but we need this break for a while.

BICOL Dialect Quiz

As the day end after we go to Mampurog river,
me and tomodachi were practicing some bicol words.
She wanted to learn some with eagerness on her
eyes, I teached her some easy one. She keeps
saying it loud to xy-tot hehehe! Xy asked if
there's a quiz on it because tomodachi keeps
on practicing so I said yes and she is
included! these are the words:
"i-yo" = yes/oo
"da-i" = no/hindi
"ha-bu" = i dont want/like/ayoko
"in-da sa-imo" = ewan ko sayo/whatever
"bu-tug" or bu-tu-bot" = lier/sinungaling
"sain ka naka-istar" = where do you live?/san ka nakatira
"ig-di sa Basud" = here in Basud/dito sa Basud
"Dagos po" = Welcome or come in(polite)/ Tuloy po
"malipot" = cold/malamig
"ba-rato" = cheap/mura

Tomodachi got everything right I guess. Xy-tot won't
care but i'm sure she knows it.

Eulla(tomodachi) and Xy-tot at BICOLANDIA!

HURRAY!!! FINALLLY!!!!


note:
"ok lets go just go back here at the present 2010 of May
for now. i might not remember to blog this."


after the long long long plans going here eto na!
they finally came to Bicolandia! hehee

oH yeah we are late no I guess I'm late damn!!
xy and eulla arrived before 5am and i woke up 5:40am,
hay kaw ba naman maglaba ng gabi ah..anyway i think
xyrra got sexier hahaha yeah i mean it she loose some
weight! eulla got her hair dyed and she still pretty
just like before.

grabeh super lamig magmotor nagtiwala ako na kaya ko
magdrive ng walang jacket basa pa naman kasi!
nanginginig talaga ako!.. nakakatawa pagdating ko
dun kala ko pabalik na sila tanay ulit eh haha ...
pagpauwi naman yung gulong talaga naman akala ko bibigay,
ang bigat kaya namen tatlo haha buti nalang nakadating naman!
I miss this two person in my life its been 7 months
since i last saw them but I'm glad they're here now with
us in bicol for few days. I'll try to make it memorable
for them..hay hope we had fun! Eulla must be home before
saturday so that will be 5 days here..
oh well they must get some rest muna from the travel..
before we proceed to the happiness!

WELCOME TO BICOLANDIA!!

Picture.Picture.Picture

The moment we wake up, tomodachi and I can't
help to take pictures! Wala pang hilamos yan
ha?! Xyrra on the other hand parang itinatakwil
na ang camera hahaha! Well I'm proud to say Xyrra
that she smile ha on our pictures! Back then
she won't even care, although she loves taking
picture of the sunset she would rather want at
the back of the photos..so I'm proud of her she
changed somehow. *TAKOT yan mapansin haha! she
promised!
So far so good, swiming kami today sa
Bagasbas Beach. with its warm water the 2 love it
already. pictures.pictures and more pictures.
I also let them tried our "kinunot" its a shark's
delicacy yes! SHARK! It's rare to see some but when
the fisherman caught one it's what most of the
houses prepared even in "carenderias".

...she HATES me.

how can you manage not to talk with the person you always talk
with and laugh with?
after this little tragedy of mine, here comes another:

..Cj's mom got mad on me..on both of us.


...it happened fast, without warning..
i can't point who's fault it is. Yes i admit
it's half mine(do i have to measure this?)..
all I know was when I left my family, the first person I
wanted to see was Cj.

do you thinnk i am selfish to ask him to stay with me the
whole 24 hours crying whenever i'm awake and left tears marked
on his clothes everywhere?
i have nowhere to go. His mom didn't know I left our home, he said
there's no need so i didn't give much care either.
I asked him if he could stay with me cause i'm still pretty scared
and i want his hug..love..kiss..
somehow these helps me from those pains.

this is the reason.
the rules are broken - old fashion way rules.
he should never do such things like sleeping on other house
unless it's a family house.
Cj had a bad record on his gimmiks and his drinking habits which
by the way CHANGED when we start this relationship..
..the thing is they don't trust him.
i can understand that they care for our safety
di ba uso ang early pregnancy so who knows diba?
its's ok i do know that.
atleast a chance and forgiveness.

till this very moment i'm typing this, nothing's changed:

- i can't go to their carenderia anymore.
- can't go in their home.
- can't talk with her pati ata si papa niya ganun nadin
- can't let cj go in naga even if he insists he must be at home
within the day.

if any of these were not t, 1 count of bad image and bad thoughts
about me for sure, the next thing wil be arguments between cj and his mom.

I hate that SHE HATES me.

i miss her..

i understand her..

..so i'll just get my self in distance if it's the good thing to do.
time will heal it..we need to do our responsibility first. STUDY.
i am doing it, it's on the masters list. about my mama - she understands.
she knows every little detail we got.

someday we'll talk and the HATE will go away.

DRUNK feeling..?

the first time i got this feeling is with my 2 bestfriend
and new friends at tanay.
This funny GSM Blue was found under the mud that
ruled everywhere
..so we decided to drink it.

yeah after we had it..we consume more!
Cubix friends treat us..we had "pulutan" so we're done!

a little later..it Ticks! i smell myself.
this is it..the smell i always know from my grandpa.
hahaha i'm on it now..
not that my mom is not here so i can do this.
it's not abusive situation.
i'm at the RIGHT AGE!

its not bad..after my cheeks and eyes get reddish
and the last thing i remember is i WANT TO SLEEP!

..2nd CHAPTER...[2010]

2010...it's been so long...


i've been gone for a long gap here..hehehe
there are things i've never wished to happen but it did.
i think it's a need to have a bit summary of what
happened to me back then since the last date up to now.

August: my mom came with my sister emily and yayu from canada.
- i accidentally let my bro slipped in our bathroom and almost
got myself killed from my mom's anger.

- supposedly i will intriduce cj to mom but it didnt happen
because of the tragedy.

- i runaway(yes i did! naglayas!!)i'll repost other brief details
of this turning point of my life on the next post. =because i HAVE TO.

- SHASIO adopted me: Aaron, Al, Hexe, gelo, vinci and kHen^^
i will never EVER EVER forget what they have done and sacrificed
for me! i'll treasure it forever. thankful always.

- i worked and looked for a job for the first time burst with fear, doubt
hope and braveness.

September: the typhoon "ONDOY" almost killed us!

- tomodachi ADOPTED me this time. we slept 3AM in the morning with our
sad stories..life and love..Acupan family were so generous.

- no house were not in flood of mud at tanay(wer i stayed)!
BAYANIHAN is all over the place!

- RELIEF GOODSSSS!!!! hahaha this is fun! sardinas, noodles lagi!

- Richmond(my long-time crush) left the philippines and attended his
despidida and talked things. *memorable

- AHON TANAY! AT METRO MANILA..

October: BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAYSSSS!!!

- ON THE 3RD: its my bday tomodachi cooked for me their spaghetti
stocked *teary and xyrra find an ice cream for me..the best!!
tomodachi's bday on the 9th we had fun!

- Mom finally contacted me. we're arranged things..and yes we decde i'll
go back in Bicol.

- I MISS CJ!!! i always did..i always cry and think of him each days
now excited to come into his arms.

- gained friends in tanay. New ones(cubix family). Cute ones(anel!)
dogs(tyson and paw2) and family.

- my "haneee" word get really famous!the tone is like no other i guess
hahaha

- got DRUNKED twice!! :) it's the first drink i got. G.S.M Blue! redhorse.
i'm at the right age. and i didnt sway or what..just get sleepy fast!

- met my old friends and classmates..some know i'm just on a vacation,
some thinks i came for Mon's despidida and the rest knows the REAL reason.
I guess i couldn't just tell it to everyone right?..it'll take time
for them to understand and may or may not judged me from their perspective
so yeah..less talk less time less misunderstanding.

- and on the 16th i left tanay with kua abe..goodbye no ending goodbye.

Last Minute Cleaning!

-hay sa wa kas nakasakay na din ung dalawa
kong baliw na bestfriend! hanep yan sa haba-haba
ng prusisyon nga naman...right now i'm guessing
they're almost halfway from here. I hope they
won't get stuck in traffic around quezon or else
baka madala na magpunta dito hahaha! I'M EXCITED!!

- Nkew kakatapos lang ng general cleaning..hehe
kung kelan dadating ang mga bisita saka kami
nagkukumahog maglinis. kasi naman supposedly andito
na sila last friday and then na-move till now,
so madumi ulet..thank God tinulungan ako ni honey ko
maglaba at maglinis ngayon haha...the best help ever!
he's sleeping right now..i'll wake him up after this
sigurado hinahanap nato sa kanila. Bed sheet na lang
papalitan ko and I'm done totally!yay! *proud2x

sus maryosep!! wala akong unan na maipapgamit
sa dalawang yun hahah! Naghalungkat pa ko sa mga
tambakan, si kitty lang kasi inaasahan kong maging
unan hahhaa!
.alright, i guess it's time for bed now..

he's snoring! pagod kakabomba!! hehehe oh and
he get rid of the spiders in my room and fixed my
wall clock - galing that clock was like 3 years ng tulog!


-ganda pala ng bwan now! may star sya sa ibbaw.
remember alice in wonderland the movie the scene
where the cat smile and it turned into moon, it's
the same here but with a bright star on top of it!
PRETTY!
note: by the way i think i had a name for this
baby. "ai-chan" cute cute! pchan owns aichan!
kasi aisus[ASUS] basa ko eh haha~

Tantararan!!! MY BRAND NEW LAPTOP! "ASUS K40IJ Series" -aisus!!

- sorry xytot wala nako load. C'mon I do
have LOTS of patience - iyakin nga lang!
You PROMISED better work on it pag natuloy kayo
ni tomodachi. All I want is for you to enjoy your
stay here..hay bubbles I can't help to think na
she'll miss the fun! Next time!! - for sureee!!

- THANK YOUUU MA!!! gosh how weird, mother's day
pero in my case my mom get me a laptop and me? the
CARD that's on the ship or plane pa ngayon..
i'm blessed pa din. She finally got me one I've
been wishing for her to buy me since 2nd yr high
school although she get us PC last 2007,i didn't
get much time with it...sometimes we can't help to
argue with it. I needed it so much lalo na when i
get into college and my course is on programming.
I need to practice more often to learn..so conflict
on time kasi we are 3 students working with it.
FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!! There you go after the
long wait...at prusisyon! I finally got ONE!! bow!

-ah i gotta go to bed now.,I'm thinking
what name will i give to this laptop? Can't focus
now my brain, eyes and body are yelling out for me
to sleep..i'll try tomorrow. I bet tita kat won't be
sleeping any early today...she's on hook with korean
drama "IRIS" she bought this CD and yes she's with it
till she can watch it! the other night she slept around
4am with it!! parang thesis lang noh?..okidokie i need
to sleep. nytie..*kiss